Angelii Essay
Jul. 31st, 2015 07:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mercury_gazeJendayi has been in Nautilus a few times now, and her most recent stay shows the most growth in her. For a child of five she’s made amazing progress in maturity and relationships with those around her. But let me start from the beginning.
When Jendayi first arrived in Nautilus she was a frightened child. She was terrified of humans or anyone who appeared to be human. Even over video feeds, she was often afraid of speaking with others. She was scared they’d hunt her down and hurt her for what she is. In her world, this would have been a reasonable fear because her mixed parentage would have labeled her an abomination, but this wasn’t the case in Nautilus. Slowly, ever so slowly, she started to grow more comfortable with the human and human-like people in Nautilus, though she was still often frightened of meeting new people.
Today, while she may be mildly shy (who isn’t when meeting someone new, especially when that someone’s just been thrown for a loop?!), Jendayi is anything but afraid of new people, human or not. While she’s always been friendly to people, she is much more open about it now. She doesn’t hesitate to welcome someone new, and doesn’t let what things would be like back home color her view of a person when she first meets them. While she’s always made friends easily (who can resist such a sweet face?) she no longer enters these friendships timidly.
She’s also gained a certain playfulness she had not had before. Living with just her Papa back in her world she wasn’t used to having friends to play with, people to joke around with, or other people to talk to. Being in Nautilus gave her an opportunity to learn social skills she never would have gained without Waking. She’s gained a touch of an ornery streak, having picked up from her various uncles and big brothers how to tease at people, the fine art of sarcasm, and a bit of sass when she thinks someone is being a jerk.
Jendayi has gained a lot of maturity as well. She has experienced loss; people she loved dearly returned to sleep, only to Wake again with no memories. She’s helped face terrible foes, beings that would destroy Nautilus and all those within it, first the Dark Aeon then later the explosions around Nautilus that nearly tore the city apart.
When first facing such terrible things, she was terrified, and rightly so. She felt useless, scared, even dealt with depression during a previous stay in Nautilus. She was overwhelmed and in the end that crushing weight sent her back to Sleep for a time. When she woke again she was ready to face what came next.
She’s young, very young yet, and this frustrates her to no end. She wants to help, not be protected. She has gained the confidence to believe she can help! That, in itself, is a huge change for her.
When facing the Dark Aeon she did so out of desperation, knowing that she could either curl up in Helix and hope, or step back into Nautilus and at least try. She tried, but not out of confidence that she was capable of doing much, but because she couldn’t just sit aside and wait. When it came time to hunt down Ursaems, she believed she could help. She wanted to help. She stayed behind because she did not want to worry or distract those she loved, but it frustrated her. And so she found other ways to help. She put her all into healing the city, focusing herself to exhaustion to keep her beloved home together.
She’s learned more about herself in the most recent storm (Bad End Storm). She’s seen what she could become if she lets herself stop caring. She’s frightened that it could happen, but has also resolved to not let herself become that cold, apathetic person shown to her in the storm. Before, she would have been terrified, would have closed herself off from people in an attempt to keep from getting too close. If she didn’t get close enough for their loss to hurt so much, she’d not become that person, right? But with the maturity gained, she recognizes that she can’t do that. She must continue on, trusting that she can be better than what she had become during that storm. She loves her family here, her home, and she is ready to give her all to protect it.
She knows she’s young, she knows she has lots to learn yet, and she knows there’s a lot she just won’t understand until she’s older. But she’s also aware that she knows and understands more than most her age might, and has the maturity of one who understands her responsibilities to the city and the people in it. This is her home, and she will give her all to keep it safe.
When Jendayi first arrived in Nautilus she was a frightened child. She was terrified of humans or anyone who appeared to be human. Even over video feeds, she was often afraid of speaking with others. She was scared they’d hunt her down and hurt her for what she is. In her world, this would have been a reasonable fear because her mixed parentage would have labeled her an abomination, but this wasn’t the case in Nautilus. Slowly, ever so slowly, she started to grow more comfortable with the human and human-like people in Nautilus, though she was still often frightened of meeting new people.
Today, while she may be mildly shy (who isn’t when meeting someone new, especially when that someone’s just been thrown for a loop?!), Jendayi is anything but afraid of new people, human or not. While she’s always been friendly to people, she is much more open about it now. She doesn’t hesitate to welcome someone new, and doesn’t let what things would be like back home color her view of a person when she first meets them. While she’s always made friends easily (who can resist such a sweet face?) she no longer enters these friendships timidly.
She’s also gained a certain playfulness she had not had before. Living with just her Papa back in her world she wasn’t used to having friends to play with, people to joke around with, or other people to talk to. Being in Nautilus gave her an opportunity to learn social skills she never would have gained without Waking. She’s gained a touch of an ornery streak, having picked up from her various uncles and big brothers how to tease at people, the fine art of sarcasm, and a bit of sass when she thinks someone is being a jerk.
Jendayi has gained a lot of maturity as well. She has experienced loss; people she loved dearly returned to sleep, only to Wake again with no memories. She’s helped face terrible foes, beings that would destroy Nautilus and all those within it, first the Dark Aeon then later the explosions around Nautilus that nearly tore the city apart.
When first facing such terrible things, she was terrified, and rightly so. She felt useless, scared, even dealt with depression during a previous stay in Nautilus. She was overwhelmed and in the end that crushing weight sent her back to Sleep for a time. When she woke again she was ready to face what came next.
She’s young, very young yet, and this frustrates her to no end. She wants to help, not be protected. She has gained the confidence to believe she can help! That, in itself, is a huge change for her.
When facing the Dark Aeon she did so out of desperation, knowing that she could either curl up in Helix and hope, or step back into Nautilus and at least try. She tried, but not out of confidence that she was capable of doing much, but because she couldn’t just sit aside and wait. When it came time to hunt down Ursaems, she believed she could help. She wanted to help. She stayed behind because she did not want to worry or distract those she loved, but it frustrated her. And so she found other ways to help. She put her all into healing the city, focusing herself to exhaustion to keep her beloved home together.
She’s learned more about herself in the most recent storm (Bad End Storm). She’s seen what she could become if she lets herself stop caring. She’s frightened that it could happen, but has also resolved to not let herself become that cold, apathetic person shown to her in the storm. Before, she would have been terrified, would have closed herself off from people in an attempt to keep from getting too close. If she didn’t get close enough for their loss to hurt so much, she’d not become that person, right? But with the maturity gained, she recognizes that she can’t do that. She must continue on, trusting that she can be better than what she had become during that storm. She loves her family here, her home, and she is ready to give her all to protect it.
She knows she’s young, she knows she has lots to learn yet, and she knows there’s a lot she just won’t understand until she’s older. But she’s also aware that she knows and understands more than most her age might, and has the maturity of one who understands her responsibilities to the city and the people in it. This is her home, and she will give her all to keep it safe.
